Wednesday, August 26, 2009


I realize that I am extremely tardy with this post. Oh well, I am the only one that reads it anyhow. I am going to write this as if it happened today even though it happened two weeks ago because it's easier.
Today we had Dylan's second doctors appointment. Inevitably, the appointment was right at the time that he decided that he needed to eat. Since he wanted to eat and we were not obliging his request he of course cried...loud. The jolly round doctor came in the office and noticed Dylan's dissatisfaction with the fact the he did not have a breast squirting delicious nourishment into his mouth and said "How about I let you feed him and I'll come back in about 15 minutes?"
Holly and I quickly agreed. The reason I mention it is because I thought that it was very cool of him to do this as opposed to popping in some ear plugs and rushing us through. Fifteen minutes later he came back in and proceeded to check the height, weight, head circumference etc etc. Everything looked good.
Then the sacrificial ceremony began, the nurse came in and asked me to hold Dylan. She then proceeded to stab Dylan's heel. I believe they called it heel prick, but no it was definitely a stab. I was expecting one prick, instead this lady went to town on Dylan's foot stabbing it repeatedly like she was OJ Simpson. Of course, while this nurse was inflicting pain on my child the only thing that Dylan could see was me holding him...what a bitch. Once Dylan's foot was thoroughly aerated she then broke out this card that had about five circles on it. Apparently these circles needed to be completely filled with blood from Dylan's foot. So the nurse starts dabbing the circles with Dylan's foot pushing forcefully to make sure the blood soaked through the paper. It reminded me of when I used to go to bingo with my mom and they would have the colored ink son was a bingo ink dabber!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Fountain of Youth

Since I detailed out Dylan’s deuce it is only right to blog about his adventures in peeing. Let’s start from the beginning. At the hospital Dylan had 24 hours from his time of birth to make water. 23 hours passed and still no blue line (the diapers have a yellow line that turns blue when they are wet). We asked the nurse, "what happens if he doesn’t pee?" She replied, “we will try to make him pee”. Holly asked, “how do you do that?” The nurse answered, “we don’t like to tell the parents that…let’s just hope he pees on his own.” After hearing this we were getting very anxious. We checked the diaper constantly. I wanted to give him some iced tea or something, but for some reason Holly wouldn’t let me. We had 10 minutes left until the 24 hour mark and then I remembered people saying that boys tend to pee when their diapers are off and the air hits the manhood. So I took his diaper off and sat him on the hospital bed on top a blanket. He laid there for a minute and nothing, so I leaned over and started blowing on it and almost instantly the geyser erupted! Holly and I high fived meanwhile Dylan was just squirming around peeing away all over Holly’s bed like a sprinkler irrigating the crops. For the next couple of days he did pee less than most, but not to an extent that was worrisome. Once we got home he was peeing regularly (Ha, I can’t imagine anyone caring about this stuff besides Holly and me). Anyhow, In Dylan’s room I put up woven grass wallpaper. I originally planned on the wallpaper being applied to the entire wall, but we changed our minds thinking that we should put up a chair rail and then paint from the chair rail to the floor so that the wallpaper doesn’t get messed up as easily. Well...Dylan was getting his second or third diaper change since being home and, I think you know where this is going, as soon as his penis was freed from its confines and tasted the fresh air he set his sights on that wallpaper and started christening. For a while that was the only pee between diapers, and we were quite happy. Laurie came over and she asked how he was about peeing when the diaper comes off. We told her the wallpaper story and that since then he hasn’t done it at all…5 minutes later he busted out the super soaker on us. Gotta love it!

Monday, August 10, 2009

What's up Doc

Dylan had his first doctor’s appt on 8/5. This was also my first time meeting the doctor. He was Holly’s pediatrician as a child, and he still has her picture on a collage on the wall.
The doc is short round and jolly.
As you can see by Dylan's stats, he gained 4oz over his birth weight. The doc was quite impressed by this weight gain, asking “how’d you do that? Most breast fed baby’s take 5 to 10 days just to get back up to their birth weight”.
Coloring, breathing eyes and ears all looked good and we were on our way. Next visit, 8/12.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Eat, Sleep and Poop

In the months leading up to Dylan’s birth I can recall numerous accounts of people saying that all baby’s do at first is eat, sleep and poop. Well, they were right. But, the details of the eating, sleeping and pooping are what makes the first weeks interesting.

Judging from the first weeks, I think it is safe to say that Dylan is going to have quite an appetite. Let’s just hope that he will have the metabolism to keep up with it. Holly and I had every intention to solely breast feed for the first month in order to avoid the possible problem of “nipple confusion” and to delay the start of washing so many damn bottles. But, just like everything so far, Dylan hasn’t exactly made it easy to stick to that plan. Apparently, Dylan can suck a wheelbarrow through a garden hose. Breast feeding was starting to feel like someone taking a weed whacker to Holly’s chest every couple of hours. That being said, Holly had to cut down to only nursing a few times a day and pumping the rest of the time in order to give them time to heal. Fortunately, Dylan goes back and forth between boob and bottle like a champ, although obviously, as any guy would, preferring the breast.

Dylan’s nocturnal pattern has yet to be established. For the first few nights at home he would give a four hour stretch of sleep sandwiched between two hour stretches. The following nights have been everything from waking up every hour, to giving us consecutive four hour snooze sessions. We shall see what tonight has in store.
During the day he sleeps for an hour or so, and then he’s wide eyed for an hour or so with no real rhyme or reason. Between Dre’s barking at anything that comes in our yard, and my natural way Dylan has been forced to learn that if he’s gonna get any sleep then he has to be able to sleep through high decibels. He has gotten quite good at it too. If he is ready to sleep, he will sleep through just about anything.

If you look at a Dylan number 2 you would conclude that his diet consisted of feta cheese and cheetos. Also, his shit don’t stink! That’s a definite advantage to the bosom beverage.
He has a fascinating doopy delivery system in place. He shoots the stuff out in one highly audible blast. Takes all of the guess work out of the dirty diaper. This technique also makes clean up much easier. Usually, there is enough force behind it that it sticks right to the diaper, bypassing the cheeks for the most part. You can’t help but appreciate the efficiency.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Home Sweet Home