Eat, Sleep and Poop

In the months leading up to Dylan’s birth I can recall numerous accounts of people saying that all baby’s do at first is eat, sleep and poop. Well, they were right. But, the details of the eating, sleeping and pooping are what makes the first weeks interesting.

Eating:
Judging from the first weeks, I think it is safe to say that Dylan is going to have quite an appetite. Let’s just hope that he will have the metabolism to keep up with it. Holly and I had every intention to solely breast feed for the first month in order to avoid the possible problem of “nipple confusion” and to delay the start of washing so many damn bottles. But, just like everything so far, Dylan hasn’t exactly made it easy to stick to that plan. Apparently, Dylan can suck a wheelbarrow through a garden hose. Breast feeding was starting to feel like someone taking a weed whacker to Holly’s chest every couple of hours. That being said, Holly had to cut down to only nursing a few times a day and pumping the rest of the time in order to give them time to heal. Fortunately, Dylan goes back and forth between boob and bottle like a champ, although obviously, as any guy would, preferring the breast.

Sleeping:
Dylan’s nocturnal pattern has yet to be established. For the first few nights at home he would give a four hour stretch of sleep sandwiched between two hour stretches. The following nights have been everything from waking up every hour, to giving us consecutive four hour snooze sessions. We shall see what tonight has in store.
During the day he sleeps for an hour or so, and then he’s wide eyed for an hour or so with no real rhyme or reason. Between Dre’s barking at anything that comes in our yard, and my natural way Dylan has been forced to learn that if he’s gonna get any sleep then he has to be able to sleep through high decibels. He has gotten quite good at it too. If he is ready to sleep, he will sleep through just about anything.

Pooping:
If you look at a Dylan number 2 you would conclude that his diet consisted of feta cheese and cheetos. Also, his shit don’t stink! That’s a definite advantage to the bosom beverage.
He has a fascinating doopy delivery system in place. He shoots the stuff out in one highly audible blast. Takes all of the guess work out of the dirty diaper. This technique also makes clean up much easier. Usually, there is enough force behind it that it sticks right to the diaper, bypassing the cheeks for the most part. You can’t help but appreciate the efficiency.